A 'Bachelorette' Recap: The Sixth Love Language is Embarassment
Look out for a new Bachelorette recap on 11/23! Until then, I beg of you to watch The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (not kidding, NOT kidding). Sign up for TATBT updates directly to your inbox below:
Oh, I get it. This season is gonna be a mess-mess, huh?
Like, a top-to-bottom, tits-to-toes hurricane of awkward pain, and it’s only the second episode kind of mess?
Well sign me up, because as my favorite tiny mogul with a giant baby, Marie Kondo says: I’m so excited, because I LOVE mess.
While I do consider secondhand embarrassment the greatest corporal threat to my own personal wellbeing, only topped by: 1. being absolutely sure I’m going to find someone living in my basement every single time I have to go down to do the laundry, and 2. staying on my phone so long in the bathroom that my ankles fall asleep and then I almost break my neck when Twitter finally stops loading and I stand up, unaware that I no longer have working legs…
The one thing that can counterbalance my mortal fear of awkwardness, is my burning passion for dramatics. And Clare may just be the most dramatic person I have personally ever encountered on reality television. I mean, this woman monologues like an Aaron Sorkin screenplay had a love child with Carrie’s Sex and the City voiceovers, and then that love child grew up to discover that if she stops talking about the kind of man she wants for more than 60 seconds, the whole La Quinta Resort & Club will blow up like the bus from Speed.
And episode 2 was Clare’s tour de force.
At one point, simply by having a kind face and asking Clare how she ended up as the Bachelorette, a man named Zac C finds himself on the receiving end of Clare’s pupils suddenly melting into pools of piping hot magma. “I’ll tell you how I got here,” she says as a spotlight comes out of nowhere, and the music swells. Next thing we know, Clare is sharing with Zac about how she signed up for Juan Pablo’s season to get away from an abusive relationship, which then transitioned into a journey of self-discovery, and finding her voice, and looking for the love she deserves. Before we know it, Clare has gone full-tilt Grey’s Anatomy:
“I know I may not be the youngest girl in the room, or the skinniest girl in the room, or the most beautiful girl in the room. But I know that I have one of the greatest hearts in the room — and I have so much to share, and I have so much to give.”
The way Clare’s voice breaks on “greatest hearts” is just…chef’s kiss. It’s the kind of monologue that I truly only thought came out of women standing in the rain, chewing out a man who has been mean to her for the last 90 minutes of a romantic comedy, moments away from a kiss that will reveal that all of his unflattering behavior actually meant he loved her—because he might not be the most charming man in the room, and he might not be the most outgoing man in the room, and he might not me the most eloquent man in the room, but he’s got the greatest heart in the room!!! [Ed. note: Yes, last night WAS one of those “watch YouTube clips of the 2005 Pride and Prejudice where Tom from Succession is somehow the perfect Mr. Darcy” kind of nights.]
It’s also the kind of monologue you can’t believe someone is just casually rolling out on their second ever 10-minute conversation with a guy named Zac C who—and I cannot reiterate this enough—does not get a single sentence out for the entire time Clare is talking.
But this is all classic Clare. She doesn’t just wear her heart on her sleeve, she cuts that heart-sleeve off, attaches it to a flagpole, and flies it at full-mast every time someone asks her how she’s doing. (That’s why all of her dresses are one-shouldered, duh.)
When a lead is wildin’ out on their season, I always try to imagine any other former leads acting the same way to establish if there’s any precedent for, say, Peter kicking Alayah out and then letting her back in like six times, or Hannah Brown having six weeks of horror show experiences with Luke P and still keeping him until Fantasy Suites. Sometimes the answer is yes, this is unusual but not entirely unexpected, and sometimes the answer is no, I’ve never seen anything like this from a lead.
But with Clare, not only can I not imagine another Bachelorette lead telling the men they need to pay more attention to her on the second night, or forcing an unlicensed therapy session on her very first one-on-one date…
I can’t even imagine another human doing anything Clare does in this episode. And what’s even more stunning, is how many of these men are stepping up to meet her—or reject her—on this high-octane level. I really want you to be prepared for just how uncomfortable this episode is, so let’s just quickly preview the most awkward moments in no particular order:
Clare and Dale rubbing all over each other in front of 11 of her other boyfriends
Clare making Jason talk about his demons and scream and burn shit on a first date
Jason saying that he has been called manipulative, cold, and incapable of love in the past, and Clare being like, Your ability to admit that because I’m forcing you to is SO HOT RIGHT NOW
Clare leaving Bennett alone in room to get mad at 11 other men for not jumping at the chance to talk to her
Clare then leaving Bennett in that room, maybe forever, to go tell Dale that he’s her boyfriend.
Clare rejecting Blake Moynes’ kiss
How often Blake Moynes talks about having balls
The men being forced to play strip dodge ball, and then Clare fully hugging them with their dicks out
Clare being upset that Brandon hasn’t googled her
Brandon not being able to even pretend that he’s observed one single thing about Clare
And the absolute number one is Brandon whispering, “Can we not do this right now?” to try and get out of the runaway train of a conversation he’s started
It is a rich text. And it suddenly makes so much more sense why ABC has fully allowed us to know that Tayshia is coming in to take over as Bachelorette, without outright advertising it. Because they still want to have whatever dramatic moment is coming our way with Clare’s dismissal and Tayshia’s arrival…but they also know that if we didn’t have some indication that we’re not staring down the barrel of 11 more episodes of Clare swinging wildly between being mad that the men aren’t showing up for her to being so excited about this group of guys 30 minutes later, we might jump ship to, like, Love After Lockup, or whatever normal people watch.
ACTS OF AWKWARDNESS
Listen, I am the kind of person who loves to talk about dumb stuff like love languages. You receive love most easily through compliments? That’s crazy! Please never tell me anything good about myself without expecting me to completely shut down like a robot whose batteries fell out….but if you ever scroll through Instagram while we are spending quality time together, I will cut you out of my life forever, which isn’t crazy at all!
The basis of Love Languages is that there are five clear ways to express and receive love: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Gift Giving, and Quality Time. And while we need to give and receive all five of them, there are certain languages that we individually respond to most strongly, and certain languages that we individually give most freely. For example, I’m prone to giving Words of Affirmation to those I care about, but I most need to receive Quality Time to feel cared for…
I have vaguely explained the concept of Love Languages to you in a handful of sentences above. For the Love-Languages-themed group date on The Bachelorette, Clare gives her 12 boyfriends no explanation of what they’re doing beyond putting on her finest pair of parachute dress shorts, climbing up into a fake castle they’ve built inside a La Quinta Resort and Taqueria conference room, and Chris Harrison informing the men it’s Words of Affirmation time, baby!
Clare says, “It’s very important to me to know that a guy knows his love language, and if he didn’t know before, he’s gonna learn it today!” But I really cannot explain to you how little Clare and Chris do to explain the Love Languages to these men. It’s not like it’s a science! You take a little 20-question test, and then it tells you if you need compliments or presents more to feel loved.
For Words of Affirmation, Clare climbs up in her tower and all the men come forward and…tell her about themselves? Maybe a little clarity from Chris Harrison who is literally paid to give clarity would have helped them understand that they need to be affirming Clare, not themselves. But it doesn’t matter, Clare loves it anyway. She says men are never nice to her, so their kind words are overwhelming, because everything Clare says is a little sad, a little funny, and overwhelmingly uncomfortable.
Extremely strong words from Dale, followed by an even stronger reaction from Clare!
When the episode comes back from commercial break, all of the men are inexplicably sprinting around the La Quinta Resort and Donut Shoppe. Jay helps us figure out why:
Ah, of course — it’s Gift Giving time!
And like any natural gift-giver would when selecting a thoughtful present for a loved one, the men have to rifle around in their duffle bags until they find something that smells clean enough to give to Clare. Riley gives her the baseball from the last game he ever played; it’s unclear why he brought this special item with him to La Quinta Resort and Fine Linens, but I sure hope Clare gives it back once she breaks up with him. Dale gives her something he describes as “perfume for the puppies,” that has me slightly worried he could be involved in a dog-based multi-level-marking company, and I’m pretty sure Zack J gives her a box inside a box.
Ivan is actually the only person whose love language we do find out through this process…
Because it’s chess. And as someone who recently binged all of The Queen’s Gambit in one weekend, I can tell you that chess is a very sexy and stylish love language, and I am fully prepared to speak that language to Ivan if he is ready to receive it.
Clare on the other hand, is ready to chase the high she got from all her dirty, secondhand gifts with some good old-fashioned heavy petting.
And she’s a big smell person, you guys!
Clare is out here blindfolded and sniffing necks like she’s on a CBS show about a detective with a very specific set of olfactory skills, and a lead on Axe Body Spray that only her nose can follow.
Unfortunately, as soon as Dale gets within sniffing-distances of those nostrils, it’s all over for these other guys.
As soon as Clare knows the meat stick in front of her is Dale, they get to rubbing and tugging all over each other’s bodies, as the other men watch on like: Well, THIS is a development.
Then Clare basically says fuck Acts of Service, and they move onto the evening portion of the date next, even though we still have no idea what anyone’s love language is (unless we were supposed to assume from her smell-induced boner that Clare’s was Physical Touch).
When Clare arrives to the evening portion of the date for some Quality Time, she sits down with the guys, tells them what a nice time she had getting compliments and presents all day, and they all toast to finding love. And then…
A desperately awkward silence sets in while Clare waits for one of the men to ask her to go talk, but no one does. She then prompts them to ask her go talk, and no one does. So, then she asks them to ask her go talk, and Bennett is finally like, Oh yeah, we should go talk now!
And it is awfully uncomfortable, but I assume that moments like this happen all the time on these shows, right? There are all these unwritten rules where sometimes the lead asks someone to go talk, and sometimes a contestant grabs her right away, and sometimes that’s appreciated, and sometimes that’s annoying, and…I just don’t think these men were silent because they were disinterested, I think they simply haven’t participated in this franchise six times before and didn’t totally know what to do.
However, that doesn’t change the way it made Clare feel in the moment, which was that no one wanted to talk to her. And Clare doesn’t feel things like you or I may feel thing — Clare feels everything (including Dale’s erect nipples through his little knit polos) so deeply that it turns her bones into fire and her brain into hotter fire until she’s able to externalize those feelings.
Bennett starts trying to talk to Clare one-on-one, and he’s only gotten to mention Harvard once before she cuts him off and says she really wants to be present in this moment, but her mind is churning thinking about what just happened with the group. He’s nice about it, but he also makes the mistake of casually trying to explain that the guys had been having such a good time together before Clare’s arrival…and then he super does not know how to handle the chain reaction that tiny comment sets off in Clare.
Clare excuses herself from Bennet, and goes back out to the group to tell them how she’s feeling: “I’m sitting here, I had made a toast, and then there was the longest awkward silence, and I just sat here and was embarrassed, and I had to almost like…does anybody want to spend time with me?”
What. A. Statement.
The camera focuses on two men’s faces while Clare is expressing her frustration. Dale, who is listening intently, and Yosef, who looks like he would rather drink Dale’s puppy perfume than listen to a woman tell him he did something wrong.
And yet, Yosef is the one who speaks up right away, saying “I’ll take a moment and speak for the group.” And you better believe Clare cuts that off with a big, NOPE, telling him he doesn’t need to speak for the group, and you better further believe that this is not a man who can tolerate being embarrassed by a woman. And rather than be vulnerable and express that he got his feelings hurt, like Clare is doing now, Yosef is going to try to put Clare in her place for the rest of his time on the show [ed. note: just a guess!].
All of the other men, to their credit, feel really bad that they hurt Clare’s feelings, and don’t try to couch it around the obvious fact that they didn’t intend to. Dale gets up and makes a speech about how he has been on cloud nine ever since he met Clare, and he vows, “Never again will I restrict how I feel, even if there’s nine, ten, whatever men around.”
A vow? Are you kidding me, Dale. Making a vow to pay more attention to her is basically like Clare’s third base.
Clare takes Dale’s monologue in stone-faced, but I think its just because she’s trying to resist taking a flying leap at him a la The Notebook.
It wasn’t over—it still isn’t over!
But literally, it still isn’t over, because Yosef is going to speak for the group if it kills him. And what is this important statement that Yosef has been trying so hard to get out all this time?
Calling Clare crazy — how fun!
“I started out saying I want to speak for the group, and what I wanted to say is: you’re crazy to think we didn’t all come here for you.” You can just tell that Yosef is so mad that Clare cut him off earlier, and now he’s going to be even more mad that the other men are interrupting him again to say that these words definitely do not speak for them. I mean Dale straight-up gives the camera Jim-face when Yosef says Clare is crazy to have gotten her feelings hurt.
If you’re wondering where Bennett is during all of this—join the club. Even though Clare assured him she’d be right back, the moment Dale whisks her away from the hubbub, she completely forgets about everything else, and just starts telling Dale how strong her feelings are for him, Bennet be damned.
Dale loves it, telling Clare that he totally feels the same way. Clare loves it, and while we haven’t seen Dale eviscerate anyone in a breakup or speak to any wildlife just yet, these two pretty much just seem like the exact same person.
Can I understand Clare’s need to tell the men that she was briefly uncomfortable before she could move on with the night? Of course not, but I’m dead inside. But Clare knows herself, and she knew she wasn’t going to just get over it, and if these guys are ostensibly here to fall in love with her, then they need to know what they could be falling in love with…
And that is the reality that Clare is always going to express herself fully. Like, always. Constantly. Clare is never not going to be expressing herself fully. For example:
THE DOCT(CL)ARE IS IN
I have never seen anything like this one-on-one date with Jason in my life. They never even sat in front of a dinner that they didn’t touch!
No, it seems that Clare’s plan is to cut these men open until she sees red, and anything short of that—they’re out of here. Before their one-on-one, Jason receives a three page note from Clare, detailing that this date is going to be all about vulnerability and going deep. She also asks Jason to write a letter to his younger self to bring on the date. Jason has the appropriate response to all of this.
Jason is a happy-go-lucky, goofy kind of guy and Clare says that’s exactly why she invited him on this date where they’re not going to eat, or drink, or do anything fun. Clare recognized in Jason on Night 1 that he probably uses humor as a coping mechanism, and now she is bound, set, and determined on breaking him.
She doesn’t have to try very hard. Jason came prepared to be vulnerable, and even though he’s highly uncomfortable, he does everything Clare asks him to, which is…a lot.
And that’s kind of the only thing that I don’t like about this date, beyond the fact that it’s not fun and boring. Clare is completely in her comfort zone being vulnerable and expressing her emotions, whereas Jason is not. So even though they’re both sharing and being open, really only one person is being challenged. And I guess that’s how these dates always are… but it just somehow seems a little more glaring when the challenging thing is opening up about the ways that you parent’s dysfunctional marriage scarred you for life versus, like, bungee jumping.
I stand by the fact that this is very much not a date, but sharing so much so much fast certainly does seem to forge a bond between Clare and Jason. My favorite part is very early on when Clare asks Jason if he’d rather do some breathin’ or some screamin’.
Jason chooses screaming, and it only gets weirder from there! They write down hurtful things that other people have said about them in the past on clay tablets, and then biblically break them on the mountainside. Clare promises not to judge Jason if he completely bares his soul to her, and I guess she’s really not fucking around, because he tells her that he’s been accused of being manipulative, a liar, and a player in past relationships, and she’s just like:
Jason gets a rose, and I get the hell out of this date as fast as I can.
BALLS OVER BEAUTY
It’s really wild how not a single moment of this episode goes by without something unprecedented happening. Clare is the 2020 of Bachelorettes.
So let’s just take a quick moment and detox with some Eazy before we get to the sexual harassment and Brandon’s exit.
That was fun. Now let’s talk about the group date, which is the men playing dodgeball because Clare “wants a man who has some balls.” And we should have known this was going to go a lot further south than just non-stop ball jokes the moment the guys got their uniforms…
The men are split into the Red Team and the Blue Team, and given color-coordinating shorts, tanks, socks…and jockstraps. Clare tells them that only the winning team will get to advance to the evening portion of the date, and then, as though she’s just had the idea, she suggests that they make it strip dodgeball.
Why? Why?! Why would production ask these men to strip down to their jockstraps, knowing that there’s hardly room for consent when you’re on a competitive show, and the lead is asking you to take your clothes off in order to prove that you’re fun and win time with her. Just because the losing team ultimately does strip all the way down to their jockstraps, does not mean they were all comfortable with it.
After the blue team loses, a few of them spontaneously get totally naked, but Brendan says he’s leaving his jockstrap on, which we do at least see Clare tell him is fine. But if this had to happen (it didn’t!), I would have loved to see a lot more enthusiastic consent regarding being objectified on national television.
I don’t for a second believe that this was Clare’s idea, but I was surprised she went along with it, and she certainly enjoyed it.
Because, in a move you truly have to see to believe, before the Blue Team heads back to the mansion, naked and dejected, Clare hugs all of them while their dicks are out. It is…wow.
How about a quick detox with Demar before we get to this episode’s final and most awkward stand…
To quote Marren Morris: Yeah, I guess that’s MY church.
Since the Red Team won, that means Chasen, Eazy, Joe, Jay, and Brandon get to have Clare all to themselves for the nighttime portion of the date. Blake Moynes is back at the mansion, not thrilled about this turn of events.
And, y’all…sexual harassment is not funny, but once the men are nude by choice (assuming they were given the option to put some clothes on at home), it is very funny to see them pouting while holding their junk.
Back in the land of the fully clothed, Clare has a nice conversation with Eazy (duh) where they confess that they make one another giddy. Then she gets to know Chasen better, who seems really sweet.
When Chasen mentions that he was bullied for how he looked in high school, at first I was like, yeah right John B. But then he posted a photo of himself from his senior year of high school on Instagram, and…the glow up is real.
This is why they don’t have actual high schoolers play high schoolers on TV.
But when it comes time for Jay’s turn with Clare, something more than a growth spurt is brewing. The poor guy is talking about his dream of buying a gym when Blake Moynes, who is not supposed to be on the date, comes rolling up to get some time with Clare. As you might recall, Blake was celebrated by Clare in the premiere for breaking the rules and DMing her before the show. And if you don’t recall, Blake will remind you, nervously summarizing his thought process when he sits down with her: “I’m just kind of going off night one when we talked about breaking the rules and doing what you need to do, and I put that with the date card today, and I was like, I wanted to come in here and really show some balls.”
Blake has a very sweet, ever-so-slight lisp, so it really adds a little something extra every time he solemnly talks about showing that he has balls.
What’s most uncomfortable about this moment though, isn’t Jay saying “Didn’t you lose?” when he first spots Blake, or Blake talking non-stop about his balls, or even when the other guys roll up like the No-Sock-Newsies…
It’s that Blake, who is notably Canadian, is clearly uncomfortable with his own rebellious actions. He’s so nervous the whole time he’s explaining to Clare why he came, and when the other guys roll up to ask what he’s doing there, he can’t even make eye contact with them, but somehow manages to say with a straight face: “Honestly boys, I wanted to show her I had balls, and that’s what I’m doing.”
Was this episode somehow filmed 15 years ago? I honestly can’t believe we’re still doing sexual harassment and talking about testicles as some badge of bravery in 2020. It’s all so weird. But none of it compares to when Clare tells Blake sincerely that she appreciates him coming, but she doesn’t want to be disrespectful to the other men, and tells him to give her a hug goodbye.
And he somehow takes that as a sign that he should kiss her…
To which she responds by pushing him away and laughing. Blake sulks off into the distance with his tail between his legs…or his balls, as it were.
But the only thing that really matters on this date, is what happens next with Brandon, a very hot man who I noted for his hotness in the premiere, but apparently I should not have assumed that hotness would be taken as a positive.
Before we get into this trainwreck of a conversation, it’s important to acknowledge that when Blake showed up uninvited on this date, Brandon was really leading the pack for going full West Side Story on him.
Given that Brandon was so riled up over his hard-earned date time being taken away from him, one might think he had something prepared for this one wild and precious Clare moment when he got it…
That something turns out to be telling Clare that he never thought he would do anything like this, but once he found out she was going to be the Bachelorette, “I knew I had to be there.”
It is one sentence…
It is Brandon’s introductory sentence—the one sentence he has said to Clare since the limo introductions…
It is a very normal thing to say on The Bachelor(ette): I only signed up because I heard it was you…
Brandon probably does not expect to have this very average statement fact-checked…
But honestly, Clare should have been moderating these 2020 debates all along, because pushback is kind of her whole vibe.
Clare asks Brandon to elaborate what about her specifically made him want to come on the show, and he visibly gulps. This was not a clarifying question he saw coming, and he does not have an answer. After his ears stop ringing, Brandon says, “First of all, you’re obviously gorgeous, but other than that, I don’t know anything about you. I know you’re from Sacramento, were you born and raised, or…”
Brandon! You think asking about Sacramento is going to distract this woman from following her intuition about you??? Bennet looking like a whole ass Clark Kent couldn’t distract her from expressing her feelings to 11 frightened men earlier—a question about her hometown is not going to distract her from demanding answers from one frightened man now!
“Wait, so you said you knew I was the Bachelorette, and you wanted to sign up…but you don’t know anything about me?” Clare asks.
The thing is, Brandon doesn’t have to know anything about Clare in order to come on the show, that is not a prerequisite. But he did indicate that something about Clare made him want to participate. So all he needs to do is explain that he’s observed something—anything!—about Clare that he’s intrigued by. Her passion! Her Lord-of-the-Rings-like dedication to questing for love! Her ability to craft a breakup speech with a beginning, middle, end, and final bone-crushing crescendo without so much as a pause for breath!
Instead, Brandon says, “I obviously don’t know you on a personal level … you’re just so beautiful and I wanted to get to know you.”
Clare asks one more time if there’s anything else that made him want to get to know her, other than her being beautiful.
Not knowing anything about Clare doesn’t make Brandon a bad person; it just means that he told a little white lie about why he came on the show, and more importantly, that he folds like a napkin under pressure. Like, you do not want this guy on your Amazing Race team—he is going to malfunction while trying to perform a traditional Trinidadian dance, and Phil Keoghan is going to have to come out in the dark to inform you that making it to the mat won’t make a difference. This ends your time on The Amazing Race.
And this terrible one-minute conversation will most certainly end Brandon’s time on The Bachelorette. His pièce de resistance comes when Clare asks one last time what he meant when he said he came on the show because of her, and he mutters under his breath, as if he might be able to slip this one past the mics, and appeal to some Big Brother like entity that will force Clare to change the subject and pretend like none of this ever happened…
He just wants to…stop having the conversation.
Brandon! Babe! We’ve all been in a situation where we thought we were hot enough to get away with something, but it was ultimately revealed to us that we were not hot enough. Of course it doesn’t feel good, but you can’t just close your eyes and hope it goes away!
I, for example, cannot contain my giant jugs inside a delicate wrap dress, no matter how times I’ve tried. But I cannot simply look in the Anthropologie mirror and say, “Can we not do this right now,” and pretend that suddenly the reflection is going to change, and I’ll magically be able to wear this dress in front of friends and family. That is not reality!
It seems that this reality show Brandon signed up for was just a little realer than he was expecting, but by the time he finally gets with the program of trying to make some stuff up off the cuff, it’s the wrong stuff. Brandon tries to tell Clare that he may not “know” “anything” “about her” “per say” but: “I know there’s moments between you and I…”
To which Clare simply says, “I actually don’t feel that way.” It is ice cold and I loved it.
No, I don’t like seeing a man in a linen shirt suffer, but Clare was direct and honest with Brandon in a way that he simply was not with her. Is it fair for Clare to expect a stranger to know anything about her? Not really. But Clare is someone who wants to feel seen and understood, and if she’s got 20 dudes who are giving her that, and one who’s begging her under his breath to change the subject…then really the kindest thing to do is walk that guy out to the Suburban of Doom and give Chasen your group date rose.
THE BENNET BOMB
There are a few minutes of the final cocktail party at the tail end of this episode, but according to the nightmare-like preview for episode 3, we’ll have plenty of time to discuss that next week. So why don’t we just focus our last few screenshots on this episode’s one silver lining of non-embarrassment:
Bennett, the man whose whole personality is that he went to Harvard, is actually…delightful???
I mean, he could still be a little awful, but my suspicions from last week that he just might be in on the joke of his own awfulness seem to be correct.
Bennet apparently has an entire suite at La Quinta Resort and Chicken Wings, and he spends the episode touring people around it, including a delightful final segment with Demar.
Bennett’s haughtiness seems to be half-real, half-a-bit, but either way, it’s wholly funny, and the other men think so too.
And in a season where the lead’s idea of fun is exploring her boyfriends’ wounded inner child, we need a Bennett.
It’s also helpful that he’s out of control handsome. Picture the dad in the fake photo that comes inside a Michael’s frame—that is Bennet. Picture a model for fancy glasses inside a crusty eye doctor’s office—that is Bennet. And when Bennett adds his glasses to the little curl that comes down when his hair is wet because he seems to be perpetually emerging from a spa, the man truly looks like he’s cosplaying as Clark Kent. And, as far as I’m concerned, Bennett has Superman beat.
See you back here early next week to recap Clare’s love story with Dale, and the other 25 men’s weird, unfun vacation where they have to give away their most prized possessions and be pressured to expose their junk on national television. At least there are sheet masks!
